My blog is dedicated to all things Gothic fiction. This post is a deviation from the norm. Why? Because I’m pissed off.
Facebook Banned Me… before I created an account.
My pre-author career was a twenty-four-year stint in software development. I specialized in quality assurance. It was literally my job to make sure users had a pleasant and safe experience using the software. A large portion of that experience is to ensure that when something goes wrong, the user is given a meaningful, non-technical explanation. Facebook broke the vender/ user rules of engagement: Facebook provided me an unpleasant experience and compounded it with zero meaningful information as to what went wrong.
I had an account with Facebook when I debuted as an author, way back in 2012. I closed/deleted the account in 2015. This was a personal decision for many reasons, not least of which is I was not seeing any value in the time I spent on the platform.
Note the part where I say I closed/deleted the account? My experience over the past week indicates that perhaps the old account was left in a data center, where it metastasized into a vengeful revenant bent on punishing me for abandonment. Did Facebook management make a conscious decision that DELETE does not mean DELETE?
I followed the Community Standards in 2012 and 2024, both times using my legal name to create my Facebook account. There is exactly one Erzsebet Aniko Carmean in the world. When I created my “brand-new” account as Erzsebet Carmean, Facebook immediately rebuffed me with a page saying that I had initiated an appeal. Excuse me, I had what? No. I had done no such thing; I had signed up for a NEW account. Given that there is exactly one person with my name, this isn’t a case of mistaken identity. Facebook provided no explanation for this action; this leaves me to guess what happened, and you know what? My guess is that when I said DELETE in 2012, Facebook did NOT delete the account. This resulted in an (unknowing & unintentional) attempt by me (a real person! using my real & unique name!) to create a “duplicate” account.
Facebook said, hey, we can move this appeal along if you provide a picture of yourself. Did I feel a bit like Facebook was that creepy guy who wants pics you are in no way intending to send him? Yes. Did I do it? Yes. It was the only option I had if I wanted to try and open my “new” account (which is almost certainly reactivating what I was led to believe was deleted). Facebook’s stupefyingly idiotic response? A message saying I had x-days to submit an appeal. What in the holy hell? I thought “I” already had submitted an appeal, you dipshits.
An equally unhelpful follow-up email let me know it would take about a day to process my appeal. Should the entirely opaque process deem me in violation of Community Standards, I would be banned, with no recourse. There is no way an account which does not exist can be in violation of Community Standards, right? And, even if my old account is hanging around, that account was never in violation of any policies when it was active.
Three days pass. Facebook said it would take one day to reach a resolution, an unsurprising example of overpromising and underdelivering. I presume the concept of underpromising and overdelivering is not observed at Facebook because it might result in a user having a lukewarm experience, instead of the truly terrible experience they prefer to provide.
At the end of the three days, did my account rise from the dead, sanctified & cleansed of whatever imaginary sins the non-existent account committed? No. It was banned. Permanently – and with no recourse to appeal (since, “I” had already appealed and lost).
In the final calculation, I am the winner. I am not exposed to toxic comments and bots swarming like lice. Time I would have spent feeding the Facebook algorithm will now be spent writing. Money I would have spent to advertise on Facebook stays in my account. Facebook, my SOLE reason to come back was to GIVE YOU MONEY to buy ads! You’re welcome for the exactly ZERO dollars you’ll get from me. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed failing to create an account.
Erzsebet Carmean 